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The Book of Spam
Book of 1 Spimothy 18:1
the Holy Prophets of Profit
approached the
evil
emperor's throne,
Knelt before him,
and Yodeled,
"kindest sir emperor,
we hath Brought Ye
the Finest
Tokens
of our Apkreciation -
Masterfully Seasoned
and Delivered
for Your Review.
May We Please
Address
Thine Subjects?"
the emperor leaned forward,
sharply squinting his eyes,
obviously straining his vision
to make out
the Gifts
that These Holy Men Brought him.
"if Yonder Men
are only Here
to Make Talk,
i frankly
Cannot Tell
the Difference between
Tokens of Season
and
Tokens of Treason,"
spake the emperor.
"Very Well,"
the Prophet with a Head of Fire replied.
"We shall Race these very Tokens
Quickly
to thine vault.
We know not the Length of Our Stay,
but Tokens We Will Pay."
The Prophet
Cunningly Minted
Many
Godawful Shitty Fake tokens,
Saving the
Genuine Seasoned Fly Tokens
for a Later Transaction -
One that would Honor Him Further.
In His Name,
we Deceive
the Antis,
Eternal. |
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| There are no conversations. |
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| John the Apostle |
If a man say, 'I love God,' and hateth his brother, he is a liar: for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen? And this commandment have we from him, That he who loveth God love his brother also. |
| Stephen King |
When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, 'Why god? Why me?' and the thundering voice of God answered, 'There's just something about you that pisses me off.' |
| Saint Ignatius |
God our Lord would have us look to the Giver and love Him more than His gift, keeping Him always before our eyes, in our hearts, and in our thoughts. |
| Matthew Henry |
Eve was not taken out of Adam's head to top him, neither out of his feet to be trampled on by him, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected by him, and near his heart to be loved by him. |
| Bobby Ray Inman |
Another factor is the decision, made in 1976, to sharply divide the FBI and the foreign intelligence agencies. The FBI would collect within the United States; the foreign intelligence agencies would collect overseas. |
| Fyodor Dostoevsky |
Men do not accept their prophets and slay them, but they love their martyrs and worship those whom they have tortured to death. |
| Chief Joseph |
The first white men of your people who came to our country were named Lewis and Clark. They brought many things that our people had never seen. They talked straight. These men were very kind. |
| Ralph Abernathy |
You may be assured that we won't ever let your words die. Like the words of our Master, Jesus Christ, they will live in our minds and our hearts and in the souls of black men and white men, brown men and yellow men as long as time shall last. |
| Michele Bachmann |
The Holy Spirit is our comforter, our teacher. That's why, in prayer, we can ask the Lord to open up Scripture and make it come alive to us, to open our understanding. He left his Spirit with us until we join him in Heaven. |
| Philip James Bailey |
Let each man think himself an act of God, His mind a thought, his life a breath of God; And let each try, by great thoughts and good deeds, To show the most of Heaven he hath in him. |
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