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i recently heard a joke from a comedian about how XYZ people will never speak english around you despite years of school, but get em drunk and they speak right up |
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| cauz |
Sept. 2, 2014, 11:25 a.m. |
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| Robin Williams |
The bad thing about being a famous comedian is that every now and then someone approaches me to tell an old joke. Don't tell me jokes - I have that. People also say the weirdest things, sometimes sarcastic things, and even evil things. They like to provoke to get a reaction. |
| Guy Davenport |
Imagination is like the drunk man who lost his watch and must get drunk again to find it. |
| Chris Hemsworth |
For whatever reason, we relate to anything godlike with an English accent. The English are very proud of that. And with anything Roman or gladiators, they have an English accent. For an audience, it is an easy trick to hook people in. |
| Ernest Istook |
To become an American citizen, we require people to read, write and speak in English. That is to help them to assimilate in our melting pot, truly to become Americans. We mock that when the cherished right to vote does not involve English any more. |
| Abdullah Ahmad Badawi |
So I went to English school, secondary English school, so forget going to Mecca for my religious education. |
| James Fenton |
English poetry begins whenever we decide to say the modern English language begins, and it extends as far as we decide to say that the English language extends. |
| Johnny Galecki |
Comedy is similar to hockey... in only one way. You get a lot of credit for assists. So I try to serve whatever the intention is, be it the joke or the story or the scene or the moment or the kiss, even if it's not my joke or moment. |
| Elizabeth Edwards |
I was an English major in college, and then I went to graduate school in English at the University of North Carolina for three years. |
| Dave Attell |
Yeah, I know, some people are against drunk driving, and I call those people 'the cops.' But you know, sometimes, you've just got no choice; those kids gotta get to school! |
| Adele |
My voice went recently, never happened before, off like a tap. I had to sit in silence for nine days, chalkboard around my neck. Like an old-school mime. Like a kid in the naughty corner. Like a Victorian mute. |
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I wonder if this new generations of Europeans will be nicer to Americans or more willing to speak English.
This post is a comment.
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We need to get a couple people together and go to the town square. Two of will be together. One will shout "Help! Is there a priest around! This woman is possessed!" and then other person will be on the other side of the square dressed as priest and will be like "Yes! I can help you!" "I heard your cry for help or whatever" and then we will speak some latin and do an exorcism and it'll be a good day. Holy water is good but it's better if we can get some smoke goin on. Hidden smoke machine or something. The incense waving maybe.
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Yes, drunk Europeans are generally very enthusiastic about speaking English. It may have been that people in Vienna (randos in hole in the wall bars to strangers on the street) were nicer than all the jerks in Prague, except the people trying to sell you stolen cell phones.
This post is a comment.
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I've also heard that everyone in your dreams is yourself. Maybe I've stopped thinking creatively/out-of-the-box in grad school in the interest of safe career advancement. Recently I seem to be breaking out of that, even though Prabal doesn't seem 100% on-board at the moment - maybe that brought it up.
This post is a comment.
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I had a dream that I was at a bar and there were these gangsters sitting at a table talking and one of them was drawing a picture of a duck. He got up and walked away for a bit and I sat down and finished his drawing. I did not speak to the other people. They just watched me draw this duck and then I left.
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“You have to speak in metaphors, in paradox, in symbolism. You have to tell a story that will allow the client to experience the truth without you ever having to name it.”
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Customer at subway "wants to speak to the manager"
I worked at a subway that didn't have any authority/managers, just a couple minimum wage base level workers. I don't remember what this particular customer was mad about but she was arguing with me and didn't like the answer I gave her. She asked to speak to the manager, and there not being a manager I decided to promote myself on the spot and replied with "manager speaking, how can I help you." This did not make her very happy because she realized she was not going to get a different answer and asked for a phone number to call. The owner has specifically told us never to give his cell number to customers so i gave her the store number. She gives me a shit eating grin thinking about how much trouble she's about to get me in when the phon...
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I had a really weird dream. I think I was in a cab with a friend and we were driving around this city where almost everything was under construction. We got out of the cab and my friend disappeared and I ended up in a park standing around a group of people who was listening to someone speak. A pack of wolves walked by in the distance and one ran up to me and hit my hand with his head as if to greet me or something. I walked toward the wolves and the next thing I remember is I was a woman wandering around this apartment trying to avoid people and there was a tiny fairy person about the size of my hand that I was carrying around. Not sure if I was also a fairy that just wasn't small or if I was human.
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I had a dream that my friend and I were hanging out with Robin Williams. We both got into these separate cars and were driving up this hill. Robin Williams wanted to drive our car up the hill backward and I was telling him not to. He kept saying he didn't know how to drive this car. We got to the top but then he almost drove it off the edge of the hill. We got out of the car and then he fell anyway and died. Then my friend and I aged like 40 years suddenly and then we walked down the hill. We found these like, drunk 12-year-olds that wanted to fight us. They said "this isn't fair, you're not even drunk" and I said "yep" and then knocked him out and then my friend and I (now like 70 years old) just walked down the street in the middle of the night.
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I had a dream that I was at a school and there was a kid who I think was a criminal of some sort. He was trying to get the principal of the school to do something for him and the principal refused. This kid then went nuts and started throwing desks and stuff everywhere. For some reason, there was a jail attached to the school. The kid had done something wrong to a bunch of people in jail and the warden decided they could temporarily let them out to get their revenge. Then this kid was running around and hiding in the school and these criminals were trying to hunt him down. He got cornered at some point and got shanked. He died. Then the criminals started just murdering each other and other kids at the school.
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